4 Ways to Reduce “Mom Guilt”.

At the beginning of this pandemic I had a hard time. In March 2020, I was super excited to head back to work from 1 year maternity leave. I was at work for a total of 7 days when everything shut down due to the Corona Virus COVID-19. I was disappointed, frustrated and anxious. To top it off, I was riddled with “Mom Guilt”.

Toys galore! Gotta love LEGO.

I love my babies and should have been excited to spend extra time with them and I was. But I was also longing to have a life again. So here was my dilemma. I was feeling guilty for being ‘selfish’ and while I was sitting in that, my mood was not the best. To overcompensate I found myself buying extra toys, running myself ragged trying to entertain kids and at times just letting them run over me and do whatever they wanted.

I had to find ways to combat the mom guilt and restore balance.

4. Reconnect with Yourself

When you become a mom, it seems at times that you no longer have a name. Mom, Mommy, Mama…is always being called, but your name is few and far between. Your priorities are focused externally instead of internally. We often forget the things we loved to do when we actually had time for ourselves.

Take a minute and describe yourself without referring to being a “mom”. I’ll wait.

Fun fact: This clock has no batteries 😁

Reconnecting with yourself, for me, is the starting block for everything selfcare. Remembering what your hobbies are, what activities bring you joy and peace and make you feel unique and valued.

I always loved to cook. However, this year ‘ve found it to be more of a chore than a joy. I was getting stuck and struggled with lack of creativity. I was unmotivated and our meals became redundant. I had to find my spark again and get back into my creative space.

Funny enough, I got the epiphany while helping create floral arrangements for a family wedding. I reconnected with my creative side. This helped me to be a better mom! Our meals are better, my kids have more fun with the activities I’ve created for them and I feel more fulfilled. Don’t get me wrong, my kids are very fulfilling, but I needed to be rekindle my happy outside of being a mom and wife. Hence this blog πŸ₯°

3. Be Present

Listen, there will ALWAYS be things to do. I’ve had to catch myself multiple times while telling my son, “I’m busy”, or “I can’t right now”, and “Ill help you later”.

Austin has a way of melting my heart by saying “Mommy you say no ALLLL DAYYYY”. I really don’t. But to a 4 year old who just wants to play dinosaurs while I’m trying to fold laundry or washing dishes, I am. Even with work from home culture, having to walk away from answering emails all day can be a struggle. Guilt. Double guilt.

Being able to enjoy the little moments is part of balance and self care. Instead of telling your children that you are busy, try having a go with the flow attitude. Choosing to remain present in your situation can help you stay out of your head where the guilt festers.

2. Take a Break

Taking a break makes you a better mom!! Read that again!

We are no good to our kids (and spouse) if we are burnt out, run down, and stressed. Taking a break can help you regroup, reset and relax.

I remember when I was young, my mother would tell us that she’s changed her name. My sisters and I would spend all day guess what her new name was.πŸ˜‚ Now that I look back, I can recognize that this was part of her “break”. It seems simple but it was selfcare for her and fun for us kids.

Taking a break doesn’t have to mean a hotel stay, it could just be a solo walk, quiet time in a corner or the shower. I sometimes sit upstairs in my room while my kids play downstairs. A little distance is good for you. It makes you appreciate your littles even more.

During this pandemic, you have to be creative in taking breaks because we are limited to whom we can have in our homes and ‘outside’ is ‘closed’. So get creative!

1. Remember, No One is Perfect

Social Media is not real life. Social Media is not real life. Yes, I said it twice on purpose.

Now that the whole world is on lockdown, many have put their lives on display via various social media platforms. I’m super guilty of indulging on strangers lives on YouTube and wondering why my kids aren’t always perfectly dressed, well behaved and my house isn’t always in order. The reason why is they are putting their best forward for the cameras. ANNNNND, their life is not MY life.

Everyone is unique in how they live their lives. Are my kids happy? Yes. Is their wellbeing in danger? No. Does that mean I’m being a good mom? No. I’m a GREAT mom!

Do yourself a favour and give your self a pat on the back and cut yourself some slack! You’re an awesome mom!

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